In the midst of what seems like bad report after bad report we finally have a good report: Josiah will be keeping both of his kidneys!
We are still looking at a surgical repair in the next month or so to correct the reflux issue. As scary as any type of surgery on a major organ sounds, I think it’s definitely less scary than the alternative.
Case in point: out of no where this week Josiah spiked a fever that quickly escalated. An urgent care visit, a pediatrician office visit, and two different antibiotics later and his body is responding. It sounds so silly to me that a simple thing as a fever caused such an intense and immediate reaction in seeking treatment but the fact of the matter is if another infection invades his kidney it could leave permanent damage resulting in the outcome, we are thankful to be avoiding, the loss of a kidney.
We are also incredibly blessed that Children’s Hospital Colorado is nationally ranked in both of the specialties two of our kids will be having surgical procedures in this summer. We have learned who the two surgeons will be and are ecstatic that both are considered to be the best we could have gotten. That’s a pretty great miracle right there.
In other good news: we have an amazing couple who will be staying in our house this summer while we’re gone! This is a huge relief in easing the burden of our temporary relocation. They are actually the aunt and uncle of the fantastic young lady who has been babysitting Josiah and Elijah for us. In addition to babysitting she has helped me with cleaning and organizing as we prepare to leave our “home.”
We have had an incredible outpouring of love and support from the community of people around us; friends, family, acquaintances, even complete strangers. If I had to be thankful for this family crisis (and maybe some day I will be able to honestly say I’m thankful for what we’re going through but I’m not there yet) it would be because I have gotten to see how truly wonderful humans can be to one another.
This experience has awakened me to the fact of how little I have done for others in the past. I am so guilty of coming into contact with pain and inside of my head being secretly grateful that it wasn’t me, that I could go home and sleep at night. As people have been supporting us in so many ways I’ve made big plans on how I will be “paying it forward” when we come out the other side (and ways that I can pay it forward now). As I have pleaded (even bargained) with God in prayer this week to completely heal my children, or even at least one of them, I felt the Lord prod me with a question. “If I completely free you from this will you go on and live your life as ‘normal?'”
Wow. The temptation would so easily be to forget all of this, to forget all of the other people in pain and crisis, to isolate ourselves and to live our happy little lives away from the heartbreak of others around us. I don’t want to be that person. I want to be the supportive, encouraging person that others are being to me right now.
Many years ago when Ethan was a baby, I was going through an incredibly intense and difficult situation. It changed me as a person in building my faith and strengthening my relationship with the Lord. I remember praying “if this is what it takes to keep me close to You then keep me in pain Lord.”
What a dumb thing to pray. I should have prayed thanks to the Lord that through the pain he had kept me close to Him and asked His help to never stray away and forget. More than a decade has passed since then and I still have only a rudimentary understanding of the mystery of God but I do know that He is good. He never causes us pain, but when pain happens He uses it toward His glory and plan, if we will allow Him to do so.
So Lord I ask you to perform creative miracles and completely heal each one of my children but in the process help me to never forget what You have done. Enable me to be a pitcher of cool water to others as they walk through the desert. Let me never be callous to the pain of others and to always be thankful for the smallest of miracles.