My two little guys have fallen in love with the Moana movie, more specifically Maui and the “You’re Welcome” song.
They know all of the words and it’s a scream to watch them sing to it. They also now take advantage of every opportunity to say “thank you” and “you’re welcome.” This is actually really appropriate and relevant to our lives right now as we have so many people to tell “thank you.”
It is incredibly humbling to be in a position where you genuinely don’t have the resources or ability to even survive a situation let alone fix it. All you can do is graciously accept help from other people. In the past I have thought it was silly for people to get embarrassed about needing help. We all need a little help from time to time so don’t get all weird about it, just smile and say thank you because it’s no big deal.
Well I get it now. Sometimes you need more than a little help for a little bit of time. Sometimes you need big help, over and over. Sometimes it is really hard to simply smile and say “thank you” because you’re so horrified to once again need help and you begin to feel like you’ve become a walking charity case. You don’t want people to groan when they hear your name mentioned. “Oh those Frasiers, they’re in trouble again, I wonder what they need this time”
Danny and I have spent countless hours fretting over how we will ever express how truly grateful we are and how we will ever repay everyone for all of their kindness and generosity.
It has very much been an eye opening experience. It’s like trying to repay Jesus for his sacrifice on the cross. Impossible.
A GoFundMe (Frasier Baby Medical Fund) page was started for us to help us cover some of the expenses we are encountering on this journey. It has been a fun surprise (and by fun surprise I mean absolutely shocking to the point of feeling nauseous) to discover even after our high deductible, how many necessary medical expenses don’t fall under the coverage of our medical insurance. In addition to the unexpected medical expenses We will also need to temporarily relocate to the Denver area to be closer to Children’s Hospital and this obviously comes with a price tag.
A few folks have asked why the need for the temporary relocation. In order to provide the best possible scenario for Jonathan’s care and reduce any additional risks to his health, it is best for him to be born at Children’s Hospital. Some doctors have even suggested we seek treatment for Jonathan at Boston Children’s or Children’s Stanford (which is astronomically beyond our means to provide for him even as much as we obviously want what is best for him). If he is not delivered at Children’s he will need to fairly quickly be transported there by emergency airlift. This of course would mean additional medical expenses and put us in the position of me recovering from delivery at one hospital while our newborn baby boy fights for his life at another hospital.
This is my fourth baby. A couple of my kiddos made early appearances into the world, with baby #3 making a very quick entry. Prior to Jonathan’s diagnosis my regular OB had already informed me that “the moment you realize you’re in labor you need to head straight to the hospital because I’d prefer if you didn’t have a baby in the car.” Taking this into consideration the medical professionals have made it clear that we need to be within easy driving distance to Children’s Hospital at least a few weeks before our due date.
Our goal is to create as stable of an environment as possible for all of our children with the chaos they are bound to experience this summer. We want them to have a safe living space. We want to be these awesome parents who are able to be everything and everywhere for our kids but the reality is that we’ll have a baby in the hospital, kids at home, and Danny still has a job to work (which may require a long commute for him). We can’t be everything our kiddos need.
As a pregnant mom you carry your baby for 9 months and then when he is birthed upon the world you expect to be able to be there to comfort him and hold him close so that he can adjust to “life on the outside” as gently as possible. My baby is going to be in a hospital undergoing open heart surgery. I may not be able to snuggle him the way it seems a mom and a newborn should be able to do. I want to be there as close as possible to him and at the very least to provide the familiar sound of my voice during those times he can’t be held. At the same time I still want to be present for my other children. Their needs don’t go away just because they have a sick brother. I still want to be the best mom possible for them, to laugh and play, instruct and guide, hold them when they cry and let them know that they are safe and well loved. Danny and I can’t be everywhere at once. When we aren’t able to be with our other boys they need safe and reliable care which means we have to accept help from trusted people. We will incur childcare expenses as it is unfair to expect anyone to sacrifice time away from earning their own paycheck. We do not want to take advantage or cause anyone to feel resentful for helping us or our children.
Amyhow, all of that said to get to the point of saying thank you.
Thank you to everyone who has shared the GoFundMe page. Every time I see that it’s been shared my heart is warmed that so many people believe we are a worthy cause. We have been floored by the generosity of all of you who have donated. There have been donations from our family, close friends, friends we haven’t seen in years, friends we’ve just met and people we have never met. It is tremendously humbling. Thank you for caring that much about us. Thank you for believing our baby’s life is worth it.
We are also so truly grateful for the support of our communthity around us the past couple of weeks. This is an entire other story in itself to share but here’s a short summary.
Our 3 year old Josiah had been sick for a few weeks with many visits to the pediatrician and urgent care. On the day his fever spiked to 105.3 (yes you read that correctly) his illness was no longer brushed off as some unfortunate viral infection that he was taking a long time to recover from.
Our sweet little guy ended up being hospitalized for nearly a week. He underwent numerous invasive and noninvasive tests. I can’t even express the heartbreak of having to hold down your sick 3 year old while something painful is done to him especially when he looks up at you through his tears and cries “mommy help me! Mommy they’re hurting me!” He doesn’t understand that you’re trying to help him and that the bigger fear is not the pain he’s in now but the fact that if someone doesn’t find an answer soon he could die.
It was a long and terrifying ordeal that turned out to be a severe kidney infection requiring several days of IV antibiotics. He will need some further testing over the next few weeks after he recovers but praise God because he’s on the mend.
I can’t express enough thanks to all of the people who prayed. I put out some desperate and panicked messages/phone calls/emails and the response was overwhelming. I can tell you that it was after those calls for prayer went out that we started seeing things change and turn around. It is such a reminder to me to keep asking for prayer over our situation. If you have even 2 minutes right now please take a moment to pray for my kids.
Ethan is still struggling through medication and behavior issues. I try to maintain as much privacy for him as possible but he can use all of your prayers.
Josiah continues to recover form this infection and may potentially have other kidney issues that need to be addressed.
Elijah has born the brunt of being “the only healthy kid” for the past couple of weeks. He is now in need of a lot of attention. He seems to be having night terrors and some separation anxiety.
Then of course there’s Jonathan. He still needs a miracle for his heart. We believe God can touch his heart and cause it to grow and form as it should.
I have so many of you to thank for all that you did for us while Josiah was in the hospital. Thank you for praying. Thank you for listening to my fears and worries at all hours of the day and night. Thank you for putting your entire day on hold to take care of Eli so that we could be at the hospital. Thank you for bringing us meals and running errands for us when we were so tired that we didn’t know how we’d make it through the day.
I know there’s so many other people to thank for so many things and I sincerely apologize if I missed you and what you did for us. Please know that you are appreciated. As I try to think of how I can ever appropriately thank everyone, a scripture from Genesis keeps running through my mind “I will bless those who bless you.” This was God’s promise to Abraham; to the children of Israel and in turn to us once we are adopted into the family of Christ. Thank you for being a blessing.
Don’t forget it’s National Nurses Week! Thank you to all my nursling friends out there for doing what you do. Thank you to all my Pikes Peak Hospice peeps! Thank you to all of the nurses who have recently cared for my family (Memorial Hospital ED and peds, Children’s Hospital Cardiology and SC Maternal Fetal Medicine)!